I sometimes listen to Imagine Dragons unironically but I’ll deny, deny, deny.

It was a Taco Bell Baja Blast that caused me to fold on my no-soda New Years goal (circa Jan 15) “I COMPARE IT TO A KISS FROM A LIME ON THE BAY”

Someone hit me with their car.

In the same year, I crashed my motorcycle and never got my ankle looked at because I may or may not have had bike insurance and I think my ankle is like permanently goofy.

I’m a freak and watch horror movies by myself sometimes.

Once when I was a kid, I peed my pants and to hide it from everyone at recess, I laid down in the grass face down and told passersby that I was just playing hide and seek.

I sit in the shower sometimes.

I have a scar on my arm that I tell people came from something cool but really I was playing lightsabers with an outdoor broom that had twisted metal on the end.

One of my nerdiest hobbies is geocaching, I think it’s such a hoot.

I use the word “hoot” a lot and my friends tell me I’m turning into my parents.

Had a quick stint with marriage.

I got a C grade in handwriting in third grade and my teacher made me practice cursive for all of Thanksgiving break and I’ve never forgiven her. Also I cried.

One time I told a “your mom” joke to someone who’s mom had just died.

I shred on the ukulele.

My ukulele skills didn’t transfer to guitar the way I thought they would. I’m ok on guitar.